(Wo)Man’s Struggle With Nature…
Emily Hinkler! :)
Have I been stung by a bee?
Nope. Never ever. Noooo way.
And I don’t plan on it.
But that’s not my struggle.
*****
4, 5…6…7, 8! I count my battle wounds of mosquito bites the same way I count my Halloween candy. The more, the better. (Well, unless you eat too much and then your tummy hurts… that is always a problem.)
Did you know that I am the luckiest girl alive?! Whenever I pick a clover, it just happens to be a 4 leaf clover!!! EVERY TIME! It may just be because I rock your socks, or maybe because I can say the alphabet backwards (which means I am super cool!) OR maybe just because I am super sneaky and know that if you pick a 3 leaf clover, and you rip one of the wider sides of the clover in half… BAM! You get a magical lucky ducky 4 leaf clover!
“AKKK! MOOOM!!!! MAAAAA!!! THERE IS A HUGE-NORMOUS SPIDER ON THE WALLL! COME KILL IT!!!!!” I scream at the top of my lungs while running away frantically. My mom calmly strolls to the wall, takes her Kleenex, and gently squashes the spider. It lets out an explosion of flailing legs and blood everywhere as you hear my shrill shriek of horror and disgust. Well, actually my mom just squished the spider normally, nothing fancy….
What do you mean that's not your struggle with the bee sting? Huh? Be more drastic with the numbers, like 38, 75, 982! Say that you are the luckiest girl alive after you say the rip part of the clover, but don't go into so much detail! Like rock socks alphabet.... I don't get it! When you say the story about momma coming out to gently squash the bug, have it extreme! Like:
ReplyDelete"My mom knew the drill. She rushed outside with her gas mask on, oxygen tank, buzz saw, safety goggles, and fire extinguisher strapped onto her head. She spears the alien bug with the bebe gun bullet from her mouth, and the bug dissapears into a puff of colorful tangerine smoke.
Okay, maybe not that exact way, but pretty close!"
It seems as if this is all a bunch of rapid stories instead of a collage... hmmm... :)